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Attachment

Attachment is a special emotional relationship that involves an exchange of comfort, care, and pleasure. The roots of research on attachment began with Freud's theories about love, but John Bowby and Mary Ainsworth are the Psychologists who advanced the theory.

Attachment Styles

An attachment style is your style to connect with others. It is usually defined in infancy and it is developed through the relationship with our parents/primary caregivers. Research has shown that the attachment style we learn through these relationships is (mostly) the one that will prevail throughout our lives. But other experiences we have during childhood and adolescence will also affect our attachment style in adulthood.

Insecure - Ambivalent Attachment Style

In general lines, children with the insecure-ambivalent attachment style may be wary of strangers (difficulty trusting people), usually become greatly distressed when parents leave, and won't appear as comforted as their peers when parents return. Adults with this attachment style will be more reluctant to become close to others, may frequently worry that their partner does not love them, and tend to become very distraught when relationships end.

Insecure - Avoidant Attachment Style

In general lines, children with the insecure-avoidant attachment style may avoid parents, won't seek much contact or comfort from parents when frightened, and will show little or no preference for parents over strangers. As adults, they may have problems with intimacy, invest little emotion in social and romantic relationships, and may be unwilling or unable to share thoughts or feelings with others.

Secure Attachment Style

In general lines, children with the secure attachment style are able to separate from the parents when necessary, seek comfort from parents when frightened, greets the parents when they return with positive emotions, and prefers parents to strangers. Adults with this style of attachment tend to have good self-esteem, are able to establish trusting and lasting relationships, are comfortable sharing feelings with partners and friends, and can seek out social support when needed.

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© 2019 Marcia Fervienza

New Jersey, United States